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ASK ANNE

June 01, 2026

Question: “I’ve never had a great relationship with my daughter-in-law, but because I love my son, I’ve bent over backwards to ‘get along.’ She has begun to talk down to me. How can I respond to such disrespect?

Signed: Sad Momma

Answer: Dear Sad,

I’m going to introduce you to one of my favorite communication specialists: Jefferson Fisher (www.jeffersonfisher.com.) You can get a daily e-mail, catch him in Facebook, or listen to his podcasts. Here are his suggestions:

1) Flip the dynamic: When someone is talking down to you, respond – “The way you’re treating me right now is beneath me.”

2) Maintain your position: You can do that by using the words “allow” and “give.” – “I will allow you to try that again,” – or – “I’m giving you the opportunity to say that to me differently.”

3) Reset the terms: Use the phrase “I’m willing.” -- “I’m willing to engage in this conversation if you speak to me respectfully.”

Do hope this helps, and I’d love to hear back from you with the results!